DESERT DAYS

There are times when life just seems overwhelming. I can say all the "spiritual sounding" things I want...but I just don't feel the Spirit. There are days when I just wonder what this whole "life" thing really is all about. Those times are very tough—and I see no point in denying it. There are days when everything seems to go wrong and my circumstances seem to be speaking to me. No...they seem to be screaming—SEE, LIFE IS A DRAG. Even the scriptures seem dry and lifeless. That's not blasphemy, it's truth. I didn't say they ARE lifeless. I said they appear lifeless to me at that point. And to be honest, I wrestle with this whole notion of circumstancial joy. When things are good it's easy to praise God and say how good He is. But when things are bad it's a different story. I start thinking; "What did I do wrong to be separate from God?" "Why is God whitholding His blessing and favor from me?" "Is He hearing my prayers?" All of which is very depressing because after examining and repenting if things still seem bad...then what? That's when, sooner or later, a still small voice from somewhere deep down in my soul whispers "I'm still here..." And that is good enough for me. I answer, through my frustration and sometimes through tears, "Okay, Lord. I'll wait on you...I'll wait on you...because you are trustworthy and everything else is not!